


Unlikely

by msk



Series: Unscripted Universe [4]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mention of Child Abuse, Mention of Episode: s02e03 Life Born of Fire, Mention of Episode: s04e01 The Dead of Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25334713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msk/pseuds/msk
Summary: His life had taken a decidedly unlikely turn in the last year and a half and nothing would ever be the same.This is a companion piece/continuation of Unscripted.  It’s really best to read that one first."I will stipulate that this is totally out of character for me, completely shocking, absolutely scandalous, a mortal sin and whatever else you might be thinking.”
Relationships: James Hathaway/Original Female Character(s), Laura Hobson/Robert Lewis
Series: Unscripted Universe [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969822
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	1. The Unlikely Policeman

The Unlikely Policeman

A few months before his daughter’s birth, James Hathaway called his sister to suggest they have lunch and ‘catch up.’

“Are you all right, James?” Nell asked. “You’re not ill, are you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You have never in all our lives wanted to ‘catch up’. I thought perhaps you need a kidney.” 

“I’m not trolling for spare parts, Nell. Do you want to have lunch or not? I’m free on Saturday.”

“I’m spending Saturday at Dad’s. Vangie has the day off.”

“Vangie?” 

“James! I told you I hired a caregiver for Dad after he left the flame on under the kettle and nearly burned the house down.”

“Yes, of course I remember,” he said, though it had, in truth, completely slipped his mind. “I just forgot her name.”

Nell had called him in a panic the previous fall, telling him that they needed to do something. Dad was getting more and more forgetful. Phillip Hathaway had put the kettle on to boil and then forgot about it. A tea towel sitting near the flame had caught fire, which spread to the wooden cabinet and then the curtains over the sink. A neighbor had seen smoke coming from the kitchen window and called the fire department. 

Nell arranged for the kitchen to be repaired and she moved in with their father until a caregiver could be found. When it came to their parents, Nell was in charge, despite the fact that she was younger than James by almost five years. She had an overdeveloped sense of obligation and a much less fraught relationship with them.

When she was barely twenty, Nell had shouldered the burden of their mother’s cancer treatment as Phillip simply couldn’t cope with her illness. Nell had cared for their mother, drove her to doctor appointments and chemotherapy treatments and tried to get her to eat, all the while angry with James for what she perceived as his neglect. 

James had done his best, which, admittedly took the form of visits that were too short and not nearly as frequent as they should have been. It wasn’t surprising that Nell saw it as inadequate. James would agree with her on that account.

“Why don’t I come by Dad’s on Saturday,” James said. “I can bring takeaway for lunch.”

“I’m going to put you to work,” Nell said. “The house is looking really neglected.”

James drove to his father’s house on a damp and chilly February day, a lunch of sandwiches and salads from his favorite gourmet shop in a brown paper tote on the back seat of the car. At Nell’s instruction, he’d picked up a shepherd's pie for his father who would, she said, turn his nose up at “fancy” food.

He smoked non-stop on the ride from the shop, finishing his cigarette standing next to his car in his father’s driveway. He was going to need all its nerve-calming magic to get through this visit. He tossed the butt end on to the pavement and stubbed it out with the sole of his boot. It was time to face his family.

He carried the food into the house and looked around. Nell was not exaggerating. The house has fallen into disrepair as happens when people become old and tired. Through his work, James has been in many homes that smelt of dust and old cooking grease and neglect. Sometimes the scent of dry rot clung to his clothes like a spectral emission.

Nell greeted him from atop a step ladder, pulling items out of the cupboard and inspecting them. “He’s got tins of food that expired before Mum died,” she said. “Some of them are bulging on top. And mice have gotten at some of the boxes.”

“Where is Dad?” 

“In the lounge, watching reruns of ‘The Big Catch’.” Nell climbed down from the ladder and began placing the tins and boxes to be discarded in a bin bag.

James steeled himself and went in search of his father. It was easy to find Phillip with the telly turned up so loud. He barely looked up at his son’s approach. 

“Hi Dad,” James said, crouching next to his father’s chair. “How are you?”

“What are you doing here?” his father asked. “You never come ‘round. Don’t bother me now, I want to watch my show.”

“Sorry, Dad,” James said with a shake of his head. Their relationship had always been strained. James would have been surprised at a warm welcome. The testiness was more recent, possibly a result of Dad’s confusion. 

James would like to lay the blame for this visit on Lia, but that would be grossly unfair. She was not one to push him past his limits. She simply opened the door for him. It was always up to him to go through it.

One evening as they had been getting to know one another, he had broken down and told her how concerned he was about his ability to be a good father. There were things in his past that made him wonder if he was capable of healthy relationships. 

Seeking out therapy was something he’d avoided as an adult, and his parents had refused any counseling for him when he was young. Perhaps because it had been bottled up for so long, that evening the story came spilling from him, an out of control torrent.

They had just finished dinner and hadn’t yet turned on the lamps. Sitting in the darkening room made it easier somehow to talk about the things that had happened to him in his childhood. Lia had stayed quiet, holding tight to his hand in the dark, letting him speak. He hadn’t told anyone since the story had been forced out of him when he was a child. He hadn’t even been able to tell Robbie, the person he felt closest to in the world. 

But Lia needed to know before the baby was born. The thought of harming his child worried him terribly, and he feared he wouldn’t be able to judge his own actions. He knew he didn’t have it in him to be an abuser, but there were many ways his past could damage his relationship with the child.

James told Lia about the family leaving Crevecoeur when he was twelve, after his mother connected the dots of why her son refused further piano lessons. He wouldn’t say why--he’d been warned to keep his mouth shut. But the signs were there: young James wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating and was scratching himself bloody. 

His mother had always been a moody person, and looking back, James thought perhaps she had suffered from depression. That she had pulled herself out of her own mind, albeit briefly, to save her son was a miracle. 

James’ father had not dealt well with leaving the only life he’d known since he was barely out of his own boyhood. Phillip started drinking too much and became critical of everything James did and didn’t do. When he’d had too much booze, he would become physical with his son. Only James. Thank God, Dad had never hurt Nell or Mum.

James had become very good at gauging how much his father had to drink. The danger point was somewhere between when Phillip’s words began to slur and when he passed out. James had learned when to make himself scarce. But at the beginning of summer break the year he turned fourteen, he misjudged and didn’t get clear in time. 

After cuffing his ear, Phillip had shoved James against a wall, hard enough to dent the plasterboard and leave him concussed. His mother was so afraid when James seemed dazed and sleepy that she drove him to A&E. 

Unfortunately, the medical staff did not believe the story of a clumsy teenager bumping his head and they referred the case to child protection services. After investigating they decided Nell could stay in the home, but it would be safer if James was placed in care. His friend’s parents stepped in and James stayed with the McEwan’s that summer. 

Phillip did turn his alcoholism around eventually, though it wasn’t until James was in his twenties. Unfortunately, the damage was done and he never felt comfortable with his father again. As soon as he was old enough, James found work during school breaks, always where he could get housing provided. Sometimes, the housing was a bit scary, but it was safer than home.

He had forgiven his father long ago, back when he was in seminary. It hadn’t been easy, but after much reflection he let go of the anger. But forgiving is not forgetting, and James still found it hard to spend time with his dad. 

Children blame themselves for things beyond their control and that was certainly true of James. He felt responsible for not being able to hide what had happened to him in the summer house. That first mistake was only compounded by not getting out of his father's way in time and landing them all in trouble with the social services people. As an adult, James understood that these things were not his fault. But self recrimination came far too naturally to him. 

That night, James finally came clean with Lia about his near-estrangement from his family. She put her arms around him, but offered no advice, which had been a relief. He was tired of being told he needed to move past his childhood from people who had not lived through that hell.

Lia did, however, ask some careful questions. Did he want a relationship with Nell? What about with his father? Did he feel safe re-establishing contact with Phillip? And most importantly, what would bring James peace? He didn’t have answers that night and she hadn’t pressed him. 

“I’m going to see if Dad is ready for his lunch,” Nell said as she left the kitchen. 

Phillip insisted on eating his lunch in front of the television. “He’s going to drop it all over himself,” Nell muttered as she warmed the pie and arranged the meal on a tray. “He listens to Vangie, thank God. It’s easier just to give in when she’s not here.” 

While Nell got Phillip settled with his lunch, James unpacked the sandwiches and salads and set the table for lunch.

“So, how does this ‘catch up’ thing work,” Nell asked as she speared some lettuce in her salad. “I’ll be honest, nothing new is going on in my life except trying to keep Dad sorted. I’m going to assume you have something you want to catch me up on.”

“There is actually,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’m going to be a father.”

“The priesthood again?” Nell asked, smirking. She took a bite of salad.

“Not that kind of father.”

Nell’s eyes widened and she stared at him in silence, mid-chew. James thought that if this was what it took to shut up his little sister, he’d have tried it sooner. 

“I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone,” Nell said, when she’d recovered her voice and swallowed her bite. “Not that I would know, I suppose, since you never call.”

“As it happens, I hadn’t been seeing anyone, I mean before this. And I called you.”

Nell gave a nod of acknowledgment that he had been the one to call. “So was this a one night stand?”

James felt the color rise in his face. “Yes. And before you go on, I will stipulate that this is totally out of character for me, completely shocking, absolutely scandalous, a mortal sin and whatever else you might be thinking.”

“You’re taking all of the fun out of this for me, James. So, tell me about this woman with whom you’ve sinned.”

“I think you’ll like Giulia. She’s a lovely person and far more decent than I have any right to expect.”

Nell tilted her head and regarded him thoughtfully. “Did it occur to you that she might say the same about you?”

“That’s very kind of you. It’s making me a little nervous.”

Nell grinned, and kicked him lightly under the table. “Are you together?”

“Not in the traditional way. Most people get to know each other, make a commitment and then have children. We took things completely out of order and are only now getting to know each other. I have no idea if we’ll ever be at the point where commitment is even a possibility. I cannot imagine what Mum would have said to all this.”

“She would have been happy to have a grandchild. Though, I can’t help but think Mum would have been thrilled if you were pursuing the priesthood again.”

“She was very disappointed when I left the seminary. I didn’t think she’d ever forgive me.”

“She wasn’t terribly pleased when you joined the police, for that matter. Said you were, what was it ... an unlikely policeman.”

James snorted. “A witness once said I was ‘odd for a policeman’. Then again, he was a psychiatrist and quite pompous.”

“Why did you become a policeman?” Nell asked. “It seems an odd choice for someone so cerebral.”

“I wonder at it, myself. Maybe because it seemed far from the cerebral. Not that there isn’t a lot of logic and knowledge involved in police work, especially in Oxford. But we deal more with the gritty side of things. I guess policing feels more tangible than academia or even the religious life.”

“Do you like it?”

“Some of the time,” he said. “I have a great boss. I trust him completely. But there are times when I hate seeing people at their worst.”

“I’m loath to bring this up, but at some point we have to talk about Dad. His dementia is getting worse and I don’t know how long we can manage with a home caregiver.” 

“I know. We will need to talk about it,” he said. “Do you think I should tell Dad about the baby?” He couldn’t predict his father’s reaction to a grandchild, especially with the recent changes in Phillip’s personality.

“Not yet, I don’t think. He’s quite confused these days. Sometimes, he thinks I’m Mum.”

“You look like her,” James said, gently. Their mother had been very lovely when she was Nell’s age.

“It’s probably best if he sees the baby once it’s born. The concrete is easier for him to understand than the abstract of a future child. When is the baby due?”

“End of June.”

On a mild Sunday afternoon in September, when Grace was three months old, James and Lia brought her to meet her grandfather and aunt. Phillip was charmed by Giulia, utterly captivated by Gracie and mildly confused by James. From the look on Phillip’s face, James might have seemed familiar as he carried his baby daughter, but recognition was not there. Phillip greeted him pleasantly and asked him who he was. 

“I don’t think he can place you in the context of your new little family,” Nell told him softly.

That made sense to James. He could hardly recognize himself.


	2. The Unlikely Bridegroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But looking back, the moment he knew he loved her was when they slept together for the second time and she brought him his cigarettes in bed. Where would he find another woman who understood him so well?

The Unlikely Bridegroom

“James! It’s wonderful to see you. It must be fifteen years since you were here.” 

“Fourteen, actually, Father Peter. It’s great to see you as well.” 

Father Peter Castle came around his desk to grasp James’ hand. The man who had been confessor, mentor and guide through priestly formation looked quite a bit grayer and balder than he had fourteen years ago, but every bit as gentle and kind. 

James looked around the cluttered office. Books of all kinds lined the walls: ecclesiastic texts side by side with science books; biographies next to classic literature. Those were as James remembered, His eyes were drawn to a lovely painting of Christ as shepherd. That seemed like a more recent addition. 

“Have a seat, please. Would you like tea?” 

“Tea would be lovely,” James answered. “Milk and one sugar, please.”

“You’re looking well, James. What have you been doing with yourself?” Turning to a side table, Father Peter switched on the electric kettle and began gathering the items needed for tea. 

“I’m a policeman. A detective with Oxfordshire Police.” 

“How remarkable!” Father Peter exclaimed, leaning against the table. “I would have thought teaching, or research, but law enforcement? Never in a million years.”

“I hear that a lot,” James said “I stumbled around for a bit after leaving the seminary and found myself in an accelerated program with the police.”

Peter retrieved a jug of milk from a tiny refrigerator and assembled the mugs of tea. He carried them and a tin of biscuits to the desk. 

“What brings you to my door, today?” Father Peter asked. 

“I’m to be married,” James said. “I was hoping you would perform the ceremony, perhaps in the Our Lady chapel.”

“You are full of surprises today, my friend,” Peter said with a chuckle. “Tell me all about this. Who is the young lady? It is a young lady, I’m assuming.”

“She is, yes,” James said with a smile. “Her name is Giulia Ferrante.”

“How did you meet? I’m always curious. More and more often I hear of people meeting online.”

“Rather old school, for us. We met at a party given by mutual friends. There is a bit of a twist, though, that I should probably explain. Within four hours of meeting, we’d conceived a child. Lia and I have an eleven month old daughter.”

Father Peter did his best to look shocked, but failed miserably as he began chuckling. “I remember the first time I met you. I thought to myself, this bright young man will be unpredictable. James, you have proved me wise. Are there more revelations?”

“None that I can think of,” James said. 

“Tell me, are you marrying because you feel obligated?” Father Peter asked, gently. 

James smiled. “The day Lia told me she was pregnant, I proposed to her. She laughed at me, said it wasn’t 1956 and her father didn’t have a shotgun. She told me she wanted to be in love when she married.”

“She sounds like a smart girl. And are you two in love?”

That was a tricky question. Circumstances had tied them from the start, but they’d been virtual strangers. He’d been attracted to her, of course, or they wouldn’t have conceived a baby. He had liked and respected her from the start. But looking back, the moment he knew he loved her was when they slept together for the second time and she brought him his cigarettes in bed. Where would he find another woman who understood him so well?

“We love each other, but we bypassed that giddy, moonstruck infatuation period. Up until a few months ago, we didn’t live together. That was my choice, if I’m honest. I went every day to see our daughter, and soon realized that I wanted to see Lia as much as Grace.” James looked down, suddenly self-conscious. “I don’t want to close my eyes at night until I’ve seen Lia’s face and heard her voice. I feel at peace when I’m with her.”

When James was a boy, his mother had a favorite song. She would play it over and over. He can’t remember all the lyrics, but a line from the refrain came to him: I’ve got a peaceful, easy feeling. It had always puzzled him. Peace and ease were things that eluded his mother just as they had eluded James. Lia made him feel peaceful and easy.

“Why marry now, after so much time?” 

“We’ve been talking about having another child. Lia’s father has been surprisingly accepting so far, but I think a second out of wedlock baby will push him over the edge. But seriously, we want to make a commitment to each other.” James shook his head and laughed. “I never thought I’d marry. I am the world's most unlikely bridegroom.”

“Then I suppose I’m the world's most unlikely priest.”

“Father!” James laughed. “You are the priestliest priest I’ve ever known.”

“Ah, but you don’t know the circuitous route that entailed. You might remember that I came to the priesthood later in life, after I was widowed.”

“I do recall that.”

“I didn’t often share my story back then. It was too personal, and too freshly painful to relive,” Peter said. “But I’m comfortable talking about it now. I felt the calling in my teens. I fairly burned with it. I wanted to enter the seminary at seventeen, but we require university first, of course. In my second year at college, on the first day of ‘Introduction to World Religions,’ I turned to my right and saw a ginger haired, freckle-faced girl and I was completely lost. Talk about moonstruck infatuation. My calling did a runner.” Father Peter took a long drink of his tea before continuing:

“I was consumed with guilt, but I loved this girl and there was no turning back. I told my mother that I thought I’d failed God. She asked, ‘Peter, who put the girl in your path?’ She helped me see I was second guessing God, based on what I thought He wanted from me. That’s not how He works.” Peter rose and walked around to perch on his desk before he went on.

“So, I married my ginger girl a week after graduation and we had three children in quick succession. We were so happy. I thought I’d wake up next to her every morning for the rest of my life. But when our children were still teenagers, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and within four years, I was a widower.”

“I’m so sorry,” James said. 

“It was like all the color went out of the world for a while. I barely held it together for the children. When I finally crawled out from that deep pit of mourning, my calling was waiting for me. With my children’s support, I entered the seminary at fifty.”

“I had no idea. It’s no wonder you were so kind and understanding when I left.” Father Peter had been the only one he’d told the truth about why he was leaving. 

“You were in such despair and I didn’t know how to help you. It brings me joy to know you’ve found love. And I have to ask you, James: who put Lia in your path?”

“Funny you should ask. The party where we met was given by the two dearest people in my life.”

“So, you could almost say the union was ordained.”

James laughed. “I cannot imagine my friends’ reaction to that statement. They’re both rather secular.”

“God doesn’t discriminate in whom he uses. He’s funny that way.”

“Well, He does seem to have a quirky sense of humor.”

“You mentioned the Our Lady chapel,” Peter said. “We don’t do many weddings, as you might imagine. I’d have to get permission, though I don’t think it will be a problem for ‘one of our own.’ But it only seats 75 people.”

“I don’t know if Rector Thorpe would consider me ‘one of your own.’ But whatever you can do would be appreciated. I brought Lia here last weekend and she fell in love with the chapel just as I did years ago. And we should be under the occupancy limit.”

“Let me worry about Rector Thorpe. I’m told I can be very persuasive. And I’d like to meet your Giulia before the wedding.”

“I’m sure she would love that.”

“You know, I wonder if I’d have been a good priest when I was in my twenties. In retrospect, my understanding of God and of His people was superficial. It’s taken me a lifetime of experiences to even scratch the surface of such mysteries. Don’t be too hard on yourself, my son. May I give you a blessing?”

“Please, Father.”

Peter prayed over James, and sent him off with a warm embrace. As he took his leave, James thought back to the previous Saturday when he and Lia had visited the seminary, pushing Grace in her pram. It had been a warm day as they wandered the grounds which were open for families visiting the seminarians. 

He’d felt more than a bit of trepidation at returning to the scene of, if not a crime, then a painful time in his life. James knew he had ghosts to exorcise before he went forward with his new family.

The chapel was a short walk from the car park. Built in the late 14th century, by the aristocratic family that owned the surrounding estate, the Our Lady chapel was a tiny gem. With its honey colored stones glowing warmly in the afternoon sun and the lovely blue and white interior, the chapel had always given James a feeling of joy. He’d hoped to say his first mass in the chapel after his ordination. How incredibly ironic to be married there instead. The unlikely bridegroom, indeed.

They walked along the paved paths through the parklike grounds of what had once been a huge private estate. Gracie decided she’d had quite enough of riding in the carriage and started to fuss. James lifted her out of the pram and they continued walking with the child in his arms. 

He was dying for a cigarette, but he never smoked around Grace. He’d crawl over broken glass through a raging fire for that child, but kicking the habit was killing him. He still smoked when he was out on cases and the stress got the better of him, but at home, only out in the garden, when he couldn’t resist the urge.

“Remember when I told you the story about the fish pie?” he’d asked. 

“You mean that tall tale of how you were too frivolous? Yes, I do remember. Are you ready to tell me what really happened? James, there is nothing you could say that would change the way I feel about you.”

“Hold that thought,” he said. As Jean Innocent had once told him, it was time to test things to destruction. He’d told her about the things that had been done to him. As painful as those revelations were, they were beyond his control. Telling her of his transgression against another would be so much harder.

He told her about the rigid belief system he had espoused back then and how his childhood friend, Will McEwan, asked him if God could love him if he was gay. James made no excuses for his response. He’d irreparably damaged his friend. His views back then had been ugly and hurtful and he no longer believed them. 

He told her how Will had eventually killed himself and his own shame when it all came to light. Looking at it through the lens of time and distance, James knew that others had played parts in that tragedy. That knowledge did not assuage his guilt.

By the time James finished, his face was wet with tears. He handed the baby to Lia so he could wipe them away with his handkerchief. Lia led him to a nearby bench. James sat, head bowed, elbows on his knees and tried to regain his composure. With Grace on her lap, Lia laid her head on his shoulder and rested her hand on his back. At that moment, Grace took advantage of opportunity and proximity to grab hold of her father’s ear and pull. Babies have little regard for adult emotions, after all.

“Ouch! You can’t have that, Grace,” James said with a teary laugh as he disengaged her tiny but strong fingers. “It’s attached to my head. Not to mention, my ears stick out enough without your help.”

“I love your ears,” Lia said, patting his back. “How do you feel, love?”

“Like I’ve been pulled through a laundry mangle. But, lighter somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Father Peter is based on two priests, one the father of my daughter’s high school classmate and the other our current pastor. The story of the girl in college is true--our pastor recounted it in a letter to his new parish. I found it so tender and inspiring, that with great humility, I include it here. 
> 
> The song James refers to is Peaceful Easy Feeling by the Eagles. It came out in 1972, and if Phillip was around 20 in 1967 (Prey from Endeavour took place June 1967) , and James mother was likely a few years younger, I think she could have been born in the early to mid 1950s. That would put her at the perfect age to have been an Eagles fan. Google it, if you’re not familiar. It’s a lovely song.
> 
> Lyrics:
> 
> I like the way your sparkling earrings lay  
> Against your skin so brown  
> And I want to sleep with you in the desert night  
> With a billion stars all around
> 
> 'Cause I got a peaceful easy feelin'  
> And I know you won't let me down  
> 'Cause I'm already standin'  
> On the ground


	3. The Unlikely Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And then there she was, all eight pounds, two ounces of her. This tiny, squalling scrap of humanity, this little bundle of DNA. I knew my life would never be just my own again.”

The Unlikely Father

Grace Hathaway dug her tiny hand into the slice of birthday cake. The icing extruded between her fingers. A second hand joined the first as she explored the squishy texture of vanilla cake and buttercream icing. She held one hand in front of her face, as if trying to determine whether it was food or art materials. Grace decided to experiment and brought the hand to her mouth. Her look of shock and awe as she tasted the sweetness was met with a round of laughter and applause.

“You’ll not get this girl to settle for pablum,” Robbie said. “Not now she’s had cake.”

“Enzo, take a picture of the baby,” Rosemary Ferrante said.

“Yes,” Enzo replied as he pulled out his mobile phone. “We may be able to embarrass her when she’s a teenager.”

It was Grace’s first birthday, and the people who loved her sat around the dining table. Lia’s parents, Robbie and Laura, Lizzie Maddox and Nell comprised the guest list. Grace smeared the icing over the tray of her high chair, now testing its suitability as an art medium. A slap of her palm suggested other possibilities as the cake splattered, hitting those around her.

“I think she’s done here,” Lia said, rising. “This girl needs scrubbing.” 

“I’ll get her,” James said. He lifted Grace out of her chair and holding her at arm's length, carried her into the adjacent kitchen. Lia ran to the bathroom and returned with a flannel and a bottle of baby wash. 

With Grace sitting on the counter, James set about wetting the flannel and washing the sticky cake mixture from her hands and arms. And face. And ears and hair and neck. Somehow in the process she managed to imprint small sticky handprints on his shirt, all the while babbling and laughing. 

“You’re pretty good at that, sir,” Lizzie said. “I’m impressed.”

“He’s quite the dab hand at baby care,” Robbie agreed. “James, remember when you were sure you’d be rubbish at it?”

“Luckily, Grace has no frame of reference,” James said as he carried her back to the table. “She doesn’t know what an unlikely candidate I was for fatherhood.”

Robbie stood with his arms out. “Come to your godfather, pet.” 

“Full disclosure,” James said on handing her over. “She’s still a bit sticky.”

“That she is,” Robbie said, kissing Grace on the cheek. “And sweet, too. So, lass, one year ago, you came into the world. It was an exciting day for all of us, though your daddy had a tough time that morning.”

“What happened?” Lizzie asked. 

“We went to arrest a very nervous bureaucrat and he bolted. As he stumbled around at the top of a flight of stairs, James tried to pull him back and they both went down like a couple of pinballs. Ended up in hospital, did our James, with concussion and a banged up hand.” Robbie looked at Grace. “And you, sweet lass, due to arrive in two weeks time.”

“Ten days,” Lia corrected as she wiped down the high chair tray.

“Too right. Ten days. But you decided you couldn’t wait, now, didn’t you, sweetie.”

“I never heard this story,” Nell said. “It’s quite thrilling.”

“Yep, while Lia sat with James, she went into labor. The two of them had the hospital staff in quite a state.” Robbie seemed to be enjoying telling the story.

“It was pretty exciting,” Laura added. “They wheeled James into the birthing center and because of the concussion, only let him get out of bed when it was time for Grace to be born. I had a hold on him, but if he had fainted I don’t think I could have kept him from hitting the floor.”

“I was perfectly steady,” James said. “And then there she was, all eight pounds, two ounces of her. This tiny, squalling scrap of humanity, this little bundle of DNA. I knew my life would never be just my own again.”

“I will never forget the look on your face, James,” Laura said, fondly.

“Will this telling of ‘the day Grace was born’ story be an annual event?” James asked. 

“Yes!” Everyone except James agreed.

“Can we at least take the emphasis off my trip down the stairs?”

“Trip down the stairs!” Robbie crowed. “I’ll have to add that turn of phrase to next year’s rendition.”

“I’m thinking of writing it as a children’s book,” Nell said, gesturing. “With illustrations. The one where you are a whirlwind of arms and legs will be great.”

“I think James would appreciate a change of subject,” Lia said, covering his hand with hers. “Do you want to do the honors?”

“Certainly. We have an announcement.” James waited a beat to gauge the audience. He figured half of them thought Lia was pregnant again. “Lia and I are getting married.”

“Thank you, God!” Enzo exclaimed, hands raised as if to heaven. 

“Dad!” Lia laughed. “Watch it, or I walk down the aisle on my own.”

“There’s going to be an aisle? This is getting better and better.”

“There is an aisle, Dad. We’re getting married in the Our Lady Chapel at the seminary. It will be the second Saturday in September, at 2 o’clock. We found a lovely venue. It’s going to be a small wedding.”

The had Enzo to thank for such a nice venue on short notice, a pub by the river with a lovely garden. Lia’s father had done restoration work on the original wood paneling and the landlord had been well pleased and had agreed to house their small wedding celebration even though he might have some drop in business.

“You kept this under your hat, lad,” Robbie said, after the uproar of congratulations had passed. Robbie and James stood alone in the living room as everyone else discussed photographers, flowers and menu choices. “It’s wonderful news.”

“I was hoping you’d stand up with me,” James said. “Keep me from bolting out the back door of the chapel.”

“Be an honor.” Robbie drew James into a clumsy hug. “Nothing would make me happier.”

Later, after the guests had left, and Gracie had been bathed and put to bed, Lia and James tidied the downstairs. He was trying to think of this as his home. He’d exiled himself for so long from the people he cared about, afraid of contaminating them with his pain. He’d lived in many places over the years after he left his parent’s house: school dormitories, a seminary cell, a couple of bedsits, a series of flats. This was a family home. One day, perhaps, it would feel like his family home. Not yet, but he felt the potential.

When the video of him carrying the little boy from the murder suicide went viral four months back, the only thing he’d wanted was to hold his own child. The comfort of Grace’s warm weight in his arms that night and waking up with Lia the next morning were impossible for him to resist. He’d thought that maybe it was time to stop his exile.

After that morning, James had begun the slow process of moving into the house. By the time the lease on his flat was up, they’d finished the negotiation process of whose furniture was staying and whose was going on Gumtree. He’d done well purchasing nice pieces at estate sales, so Lia acquiesced on a good percentage of his furniture. 

James’ bed was long enough to accommodate his height, so he won that round. His sofa was a lost cause--it would have dwarfed the living room. Fortunately, the new lessees loved it and a sale was made. They’d done paper, scissors, stone for the pieces that were roughly equal.

Lia pointed out that soon they would have a curious toddler in the house, and then hopefully another following in Grace’s footsteps and James needed a secure place to work. Lia gave up the small library off the living room to him. His desk and books and all his paraphernalia now lived in what was James’ favorite room in the house. Enzo had done his best work on the built in oak bookshelves. When Robbie and/or Lizzie came by about a case, there was enough room to talk with the door closed and not worry about traumatizing civilians.

The next four months were rather hectic. Though the wedding was a small and low key event, there were still a million details to nail down and not a lot of time to do it. To be truthful, Lia handled almost everything. James gave his opinion when asked to decide between prawns or scallops, and vanilla or spice cake. He saved his input for the readings of the wedding mass. Nothing particularly shocking or original, but favorites of his: First Corinthians and the Marriage at Cana. 

The day of the wedding dawned cool and bright. Against every wedding superstition, James and Lia dressed together: James zipping her dress, Lia straightening his tie and brushing off his jacket. Lia’s sister, Isabella, was convinced they were courting disaster by doing this, but as matron of honor, did her best to keep positive. 

Standing at the altar with Robbie, he watched as Lia walked toward him on her father’s arm. James thought Lia looked beautiful, but then again he always thought that. He knew little about bridal dresses, but according to Laura, Lia's dress reminded her of Audrey Hepburn, whatever that meant. To him it was white and lacy. 

Father Peter’s homily was as warm and personal as any James had ever heard. Gracie found the proceedings rather dull and became a bit expressive in an effort to liven things up. She had to be escorted outside by one of her nursery carers. The other guests behaved themselves. 

Toward the end of the ceremony, two members of James’ band had prepared a song as a surprise. Claire and Silas sang “Grow Old Along with Me” accompanied by acoustic guitar. James was surprised to find his throat tighten at the simple, moving song.

The reception was spirited and fun and mostly a blur. The weather had held, which allowed them to use the pub’s garden. James was surprised to find that Robbie was such a lively dancer. Not necessarily a good dancer, but very enthusiastic. Nell introduced her date, a curly-haired, ruddy faced anthropologist, nearly a head shorter than her, who seemed to think she was fascinating and beautiful. James thought Nell should hang onto this fellow like grim death. 

It wasn’t a huge party, but all in all, between their dear friends, his band mates, a gaggle of folks from both of their workplaces, the greater Ferrante family, Nell, a neighbor or two and some staff from Grace’s nursery, it was a nice group. It all felt rather surreal.

Later, after Rosemary and Enzo had taken Grace back to their house, Lia and James went home. They were leaving the next day on the Eurostar to Paris for a short honeymoon. It felt extremely odd to be in the house without Gracie. She was a force of nature now, vocal and opinionated, even without actual words. They were going to miss her when they were away.

Lia had brought a bottle of champagne leftover from the reception. He remembered the bottle of wine she’d nicked from the drinks table the night they met. She uncorked the champagne as James found wine glasses in the cupboard. Lia kicked off her shoes and he shrugged out of his suit jacket and tie. They stood in the quiet kitchen and looking into each other’s eyes, lifted their glasses.

“Do you think the best is yet to be,” James asked.

“I hope so,” Lia replied. “I want that to be true.”

“I do too.” He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. “It’s been a hell of a ride, so far. Let’s see what tomorrow has in store.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My online research says that Gumtree is the UK equivalent to Craigslist in the US. If this is wrong, let me know and I’ll correct it. 
> 
> The song that James’ band mates sing was written by John Lennon, inspired by the words of Robert Browning. He recorded a demo in Bermuda, the summer of 1980. Tragically, John Lennon never grew old. He was murdered in December of that same year. This song was one of several of John’s recordings that Yoko Ono gave Paul McCartney after Lennon’s death. They had the note, “For Paul” written on them. Ringo Starr recorded a version in 2019 with Paul McCartney on bass and backing vocals. 
> 
> John Lennon’s original demo recording can be found on YouTube:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQp2d8-kx_s
> 
> Lyrics:  
> Grow old along with me  
> The best is yet to be  
> When our time has come  
> We will be as one  
> God bless our love  
> God bless our love
> 
> Please listen and if you don’t have tears in your eyes at the end, you are made of sterner stuff than I am.

**Author's Note:**

> I got a very perceptive comment on Unscripted that got me thinking about how James would deal with his childhood in light of impending fatherhood. I’ve also become fascinated with the James/Nell sibling relationship. I wrote a story, Out of Their Depths, (not in this universe) that concerned their relationship and as I had to really puzzle out what we saw in the last season of the show, I realized I wasn’t done writing about the two of them. 
> 
> One thing that had struck me about “Life Born of Fire” was that James had lived with another family when he was 14. While it’s sometimes done in healthy families when a move is planned and a child wants to finish school with their classmates, that didn’t seem to be the case with James. The other reason I’ve heard of this kind of arrangement was when there was a troubled or even dangerous home life. ding ding ding. I think we have a winner.


End file.
